Thursday, April 16, 2015

N ~ Nerves

The clip clop of a horse's hoof beats, and the singing of steel buggy wheels coming down the road always made us look out the window to see who it might be. But when the horse slowed to a walk and turned into our driveway and we looked out the window to see several men climb out of the buggy and recognized them as the school board my nerves would react immediately.

My throat would close, making it almost impossible to speak audibly, my stomach would clench and I'd feel totally sick. My mind would run back over the past few days at school and wonder what I did or said that could warrant a visit from these three scary men.

Most of the time it had nothing what so ever to do with me, but the few times it did made that my nerves were shot when ever they appeared.

It was nice graduating and no longer panicking when ever the schoolboard showed up, but a few years later my nerves took on an even bigger hit when I became a member of the church. Now not only was I affected when ever a buggy pulled in with the bishop or one of the ministers, but every Sunday when members were asked to remain seated after church I was always nervous and afraid they would have come up with some type of new rule, or decided on something else that would now be deemed a sin and require church discipline.

13 comments:

Brenda Nixon, Author and Speaker said...

Thanks for your blog and insight into your upbringing. Since befriending (even "adopting") many former Amish, I've learned so much about this culture. And yes, many have told me of their nervous and afraid times as Amish. Keep on writing.

Leanne Lowry said...

That would be very stressful for sure. Would the school board showing up for an infraction be the eqvalent of a teacher in public school sending a note home to the parents?

Brenda Nixon, Author and Speaker said...

Thanks for your blog and insight into your upbringing. Since befriending (even "adopting") many former Amish, I've learned so much about this culture. And yes, many have told me of their nervous and afraid times as Amish. Keep on writing.

Simply Shelley said...

I remember many adults making me very nervous as a child. Some were even pretty scary. I went to many different schools as a child, which always made for some nervous situations! And poor grades as well. Blessings

Jo said...

It's so long ago since I was at school I don't remember a lot about it. I also went to a lot, 10 altogether.

Sharon Arthur Moore said...

Mary Ann, this is a lovely series of posts. I appreciate the quiet beauty of the scenes you create. I found you because you visited my series on mystery terms. Thanks for sparking my interest.

Stephen Tremp said...

It’s officially the second half of A to Z. Time to catch that second wind, rest up on Sunday, then it’s that mad dash toward the finish line!

Stephen Tremp
A to Z Cohost
N is for Numerology

Poanna Zubrowski said...

Wow. My nerves would be shot, too! While I didn't grow up Amish, our Christian school was legalistic and I learned that what people call "sins" aren't always what God calls them! He is much more gracious than we'll EVER be !

Poanna Zubrowski said...

Wow. My nerves would be shot, too! While I didn't grow up Amish, our Christian school was legalistic and I learned that what people call "sins" aren't always what God calls them! He is much more gracious than we'll EVER be !

G Angela David said...

This reminded me of my school days when the nuns would close all the doors so that we would go for confession, otherwise we will escape and run away home... I remember how nervous I would be standing in the Q for confessions. (this is a practice in the catholic church that as children we would be trained to go for confession to a priest,) thanks for sharing..

Lady Anne said...

Well, so much for the "simple life". I'd think being on pins and needles all the time wondering if I had committed some "sin" - that wasn't even in the Bible - would make me a basket case. Some day you will have to tell us where the church leaders came up with some of their rules.

joanie said...

I was mistreated terribly by a nun in 4th grade. Often, if I raised my hand and answered a question correctly, she claimed I was wrong and she would angrily yank me out of my chair and drag me to the teachers lounge. All I remember her talking about was my mother & she told me my mother did not love me and was bad. She then locked me in the mop closet and did not allow me to eat lunch. A particular teacher found me usually and returned me to the classroom. She threatened me ( don't remember with what) not to tell my parents and I didn't for a long time, but my nerves about going to school became so severe I started sobbing in the night and I eventually told them. My mother told me later she was angry with her and took it out on me. There was a boy in our class who was also dragged out regularly, but I don't know what she did to him.

Tandk Personal said...

Wow, I would have been nervous as well. Rules are necessary and important, but God gives us grace and mercy for a reason. Many people forget those two lessons in life,