Friday, July 8, 2011

Seeking, Searching

It was time for communion. Since our year of proving time wasn't up yet they told us we could partake as guests but not as members. That was fine with us since we were beginning to wonder how long we could stay in this community, there was so much about that we really didn't like and already knew it is not the place where we want our children to grow up. We had heard the phrase; Out of the frying pan into the fire often but since moving we felt as if it applied directly to us.

Once everyone had gathered and church was ready to begin instead of the bishop giving the regular opening speech he asked for all the members to stay seated and everyone else to go outside for a while. We weren't members but were still expected to stay seated, we simply wouldn't get to vote on anything.

Once all the children had been herded outside the bishop rose and addressed everyone. He was very sorry to say that something had occurred between ordnungs church and this morning and there were some matters to be taken care of. He went ahead and said there were several teens who had done something they should not have and had to make a confession. What they had done was no sin, but simply something the church decided should not have been done. I felt sick as all around there were people sobbing at the awfulness of what had happened, including some that should have been making confessions for real sins but the focus was on this certain misdeed.

After the confessions had been made church resumed in normal fashion. That afternoon as everyone stood to partake of the bread and wine I suddenly felt cold and clammy all over. I had never felt such an awful feeling before. My stomach felt as if it were loaded with icy bricks  and these words kept going through my mind:  The new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I can not away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moon and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them.

That evening on the way home from church LV was extra quiet. Once we had done our chores we started talking about our day. We were both surprised that the other had felt the same way that afternoon and had the same words running through our minds. We wondered what they meant and where they could be found. We decided they must be in the Bible.

LV announced that we would begin reading everything in the Bible until we found those words, maybe we would know why we had them in our mind and what we were supposed to do. It seemed like a huge task, almost like searching for a needle in a haystack but we had to know.

24 comments:

  1. I think the fact that you both had the same thought says something. As they say, "The Lord works in mysterious ways," and it sounds like he was starting some work on you and LV. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am again just amazed at the workings of the Holy Spirit. God will show Himself to everybody who seeks Him, who seeks the Truth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was a very powerful moment, and definitely a turning point. The Lord sure was speaking to you loud and clear!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my, the Word is true - those rituals and customs don't mean a thing if the Lord isn't in them. Thank the Lord you weren't comfortable there. I imagine reading the Bible must have seemed like a daunting task to you since you'd never done it, but oh my, how eye-opening it is.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How exciting. God is good and his way is perfect.
    I am loving reading this MA.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel that God was speaking to you through those words.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a message - straight from the Lord!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Spirit of the Lord stirred in my soul reading your post. Often that is how the Lord works with couples. He speaks to them both so that there are 3 witnesses, the Lord, husband and wife. So many times the Lord moved in our married just that way as well. It is why we are told to be equally yoke for the two operate as one. Praise God for His voice from His Spirit and His Word.
    Mrs. J.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How sad that after the work and trouble of moving, it was not a good place to be.

    I found it interesting that apparently you and LV did not have access to a concordance, where you could have quickly and easily located the particular verses that God had brought to your minds.

    Thank you for sharing this difficult experience. It reminds us that God is still always in control. ...marsha

    ReplyDelete
  10. My first (entirely irreverent) thought was: Too bad Google wasn't around then!

    My second was similar to Marsha's. Did your Amish community frown on visiting the library? Back in the pre-internet days, if I were trying to locate a quote I thought was from the Bible, I would have headed for the public library.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I found myself terribly sad reading this. How God's heart must be grieved when we hurt each other needlessly and excuse the sin in our own hearts. I've been there too. It isn't just an Amish thing, it's a people thing. :(

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes; I think when you both had the same feeling and thoughts it was worth finding the meaning behind it. And I also think it was sad that you were feeling that way!

    ReplyDelete
  13. My daughter and I have had similar things happen to use. But once we knew it was time to go...the question was where to go? Where do we fit? Do we fit or are we unusual? I pray daily that the Lord will help us see when we are wrong and show us the way. I know he can do that for all of us. We have been waiting for some time and don't understand what to do next. Where do we go to church? Thank you for sharing your life with us maybe it will help to make ours clear too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I can not away with; It is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moon and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them.

    -Isaiah 1:13

    (Http://www.Biblos.com)

    ReplyDelete
  15. You know, I just realized something when I was reading this post. I think many people see the Amish leaving their faith and assume it's because they want to be part of the modern, "carnal" world. But what's refreshing about reading your story is to see the opposite. You were hungry for truth. "And the truth shall set you free." Thanks for sharing your story with us here.

    Have a great weekend! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow! You had to read a long way to find Isaiah 1 if you didn't have a concordence.
    Carolyn

    ReplyDelete
  17. How blessed it is to have a search capability and find Isaiah 1:13 so quickly. What a blessing it must have been for you and your husband to have heard His word at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Lord moves in mysterious ways!

    He must love you, to have wanted to draw you out of "practicing" religion:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. No concordance means you have to read and read and read ... what a wonderful problem in that respect! But I can identify with the cold and clammy feeling of not belonging and wondering just what God was up to. For me, it was the Holy Spirit speaking to the heart of an 11 year old. How exciting and frightening at the same time. So thankful you listened to the Lord as he spoke to your hearts .. together!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm getting goosebumps because I love it when the Holy Spirit speaks separately to spouses and reveals the same thing to each one. This has happened to my husband and I on a number of occasions!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I , too, got goosebumps. The Holy Spirit works in wonderous ways.

    ReplyDelete
  22. And, if you began at the beginning all the truth slowly seeped in. Amazing. A couple devotion to find the truth -- and the strength began as you were bond together.

    Would this have been your first time reading the Bible all the way through then?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Colossians 2:16-17
    (16)So don't let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths (17) for these rules are only shadows of the reality to come and Christ himself is that reality.

    ReplyDelete
  24. How awesome that the Lord spoke that message to both of you. It is too bad you didn't have access to Google then to find that passage. Or maybe needing to read through the Bible until you found it was God's way of teaching you more about Him. I just did a keyword search on the Bible app on my phone to find that message. You had a long way to go before you found it!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I love hearing your thoughts.