In the past I used to write a letter of sorts, here on my blog, to my Mom for Mother's Day. All the things I wrote, I could write again, I still mean every word.
After we left I was told not to mention the word love in any letters I write to her, or give her any gifts because it was all a mockery, a way to soothe my guilty conscience, and could not be heartfelt after causing her the worst pain a child possibly could cause her mother, by leaving the Amish.
As a child I used to like picking a little bouquet of violets for her on Mother's Day, I loved writing poetry and would write a poem for her as well as make a homemade card. We would all pitch in and do the dishes so she could have the day off.
I would have loved to send her a card and letter this year and have a bouquet of flowers delivered to her, but I know she would not have appreciated it, so I didn't. I'll try to show my love for her by respecting her wishes to not do or say anything love related to her. It hurts though, really hurts. She was my absolute best friend in the world, seeing her house now purged of anything I ever gave her in my entire life, hearing from one of my used to be closest friends that she was asked to be her daughter since I no longer qualify ... hurts more than I can tell.
So I read Psalms 27:10 again. I turn to my family, my husband and precious children who try and succeed in making Mother's Day special for me.
They're great at taking what our yard has to offer and creating a gorgeous bouquet for me. I was pampered and made to feel special all day.
I can relate a little...except substitute "mother" for "daughter". My heart goes out to you and I am praying that the Lord will give you joy in the midst of your pain. May you feel His presence in each moment of sadness.
ReplyDeleteI pray the Lord will ease your pain!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I can't even imagine the pain that would cause. My own Mom is gone now and I still miss her every day. I pray that God will give you joy in your family and that you will feel His love each and every day.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Betsy
My heart goes out to you! I cannot even imagine the hurt that you are feeling. Praying that Jesus will wrap his arms around you and let you feel the peace and love that only he can. Hold on to them memories you have and keep them close to your heart. Happy late Mother's Day my friend!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this but I am so glad your family pamper you instead.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear of your hurt.
ReplyDeleteYou have a family that showed you just how special and loved you are.
Maybe one day your mother will realize what she has lost.Maybe she does now, but cannot put it into words .
blessings to you,
Linda
I am sorry, I know the pain.
ReplyDeleteI am not good at words...I will pray for you and your mother. Love the beautiful flowers.
ReplyDeleteNo other girl can take the place of a daughter. Your mom is hurting as much or maybe more than you, but because of her being Amish, she is not allowed to speak of it, I'm sure. Two people hurting on a day meant for mother/daughter love; so completely sad... Reading scripture and keeping her in prayer is the best course for you... and we'll keep you in prayer, too! Loving your husband; setting a Godly example for your children --- the best spiritual heritage a family can have! May God continue to bless you!
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