Monday, February 18, 2013

Speaking to Family

 I recently received this comment on one of my oldest posts:

I do not mean to be rude...just I cannot ask any Amish because there are none in my homeland.
You write so positively about your childhood - are you still allowed to speak to your family after leaving the Amish?  No offense meant. ~ Andrea

Yes, I can still speak to my family. Our relationship has changed from what it was before we left the Amish, but that doesn't mean we can't have contact with each other.

It is harder to find topics for conversation since they no longer want to share a lot of things that happen in their community because a lot of that is reserved for only discussion among Amish church members.  At the same time I have to watch what I say because a lot of our life now involves things they don't approve of. For example: what we did during the recent power outage, because that would remind them we have electricity. Activities in our church, because Amish don't participate in activities like that. How I went here or there, because they would be reminded how I now drive a vehicle.

They live in another state so we don't get to see each other often. How ever when my Grandma passed away they allowed us to spend the night at their house before the funeral. And a little over a year ago my Mom came to visit for two wonderful days where we enjoyed each others company to the fullest. Even while avoiding touchy subjects.

They still feel the occasional need to try to convince us how wrong our choice was to leave the Amish, but after they get that obligatory piece out of their system the rest of our visit can be very pleasant.


  1. Mary Ann,
    I think it wonderful you addressed this concern. Family means a lot, even more so when due to geographic or circumstance members are no longer near each other.
    Life is like a tree with many branches, yet each attached to the trunk...Without it, they wither.
    So happy to know you found a contented middle!
    Evenbetter, you write about your past and share it with your children and others. Thank you!
    God bless,

  2. Thank you so much for sharing that. Do shunning practices vary by district?

    I have heard of practices much stricter than what you have described (like not being able to share a meal at the same table).

    Thanks again for answering all you do. It really is enlightening.

  3. Mary Ann, I'm so thankful you are able to stay connected with your family. I was wondering if your family attaches the fear of eternal damnation for leaving your community as some others do? We know a Christian's eternal reward has absolutely nothing to do with our works, hopes and wishes, but everything to do with Jesus' sacrifice at the cross and our repentance, but many Amish groups believe in works and not faith alone. I'm not sure what they teach around here (3 completely separate communities) but not many leave.

    Thanks for sharing this!


Thank you so much for taking time to comment. I love hearing your thoughts.