There was only one farrier in our community. He was the son of a bishop that lived in one of the neighboring church districts. Jake made his rounds through the five districts in our community with his little buggy and his farrier supplies taking care of everyone's horses.
He would show up every six weeks unless something happened that a horse lost a shoe a special appointment could be made. LV always enjoyed his visits and more time was spent talking than actually shoeing horses. It was always interesting to hear everything about their visit when Jake left and LV and I started with the chores.
Jake had been there for even longer than usual this time and I couldn't help but wonder what subjects they were discussing this time. Once I finally heard his buggy clatter down the driveway I went out to the barn to start getting the milking equipment ready. Our dog was lying on the floor gnawing at the pieces of hoof that Jake had trimmed from the horses feet, and LV was in one of the silo's throwing silage down to feed the cows.
Once we started with the milking LV started talking. Jake had been talking about church things again, there had been an underlying growing rumble throughout his church district but so far it had seemed everyone was trying to ignore it. It really bothered him a lot that lay members weren't supposed to approach God too often. It was considered almost blasphemous to pray too often, by becoming so comfortable and familiar with God. That years ago before LV and I had become members of the church they had voted to allow members who weren't satisfied with only the prayer they heard in church to be able to pray once a day out of the little black prayer book.
We stewed about that for a while. How could anyone tell us how often we were allowed to pray? Not that we did more than they allowed, but still.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Be Still My Heart
Looking through some of our folders of older pictures I found these of Sailor and Rosebud taken seven years ago. There is a story behind the pictures but that will have to wait until I get to that part. I just couldn't wait that long to let you see these photos.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Doubts and Questions
Having a child seemed to put a whole new light on life for us. Knowing that his future in this life and eternity rested largely on what we taught him. It was a sobering thought and we resolved to be the best parents we could possibly be.
Life was great for the most part but more and more we were having feelings deep inside that something wasn't right, that we needed to do more, be more than what we were but were at a total loss on how to figure out exactly what that was and how to go about to find out.
One evening as we were milking we were talking like we always did but this time our conversation turned to more serious things again. Sailor was playing with a few of his toys that I had fastened to the stroller to keep him occupied while we did the chores. He was such a happy little boy, but even the joy we felt at having him didn't outweigh the weight we felt inside. At a loss on what we could do we decided once chores were done we would go see the bishop and talk to him. He would surely have the advice we needed.
Arriving at the bishops house he invited us into his study which seemed like only an over sized closet. We tried to tell him how we felt, all our feelings of doubt and fear that something was wrong. That the thought of eternity was terrifying. He sat there and listened to everything. Once we were done talking he said that we really don't have anything to be worried or concerned about because we were really good people.
We went home knowing that what ever it was that was bothering us was still there and now felt totally helpless on how to deal with it.
Every time we started having doubts and questions we now tried to suppress them and buried ourselves in our work and renewed resolve to be the best Amish people we could be. If the bishop didn't have answers there was no where else to turn.
Life was great for the most part but more and more we were having feelings deep inside that something wasn't right, that we needed to do more, be more than what we were but were at a total loss on how to figure out exactly what that was and how to go about to find out.
One evening as we were milking we were talking like we always did but this time our conversation turned to more serious things again. Sailor was playing with a few of his toys that I had fastened to the stroller to keep him occupied while we did the chores. He was such a happy little boy, but even the joy we felt at having him didn't outweigh the weight we felt inside. At a loss on what we could do we decided once chores were done we would go see the bishop and talk to him. He would surely have the advice we needed.
Arriving at the bishops house he invited us into his study which seemed like only an over sized closet. We tried to tell him how we felt, all our feelings of doubt and fear that something was wrong. That the thought of eternity was terrifying. He sat there and listened to everything. Once we were done talking he said that we really don't have anything to be worried or concerned about because we were really good people.
We went home knowing that what ever it was that was bothering us was still there and now felt totally helpless on how to deal with it.
Every time we started having doubts and questions we now tried to suppress them and buried ourselves in our work and renewed resolve to be the best Amish people we could be. If the bishop didn't have answers there was no where else to turn.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sharing
I couldn't quite resist sharing these sweet little posters that Rosebud made for our Anniversary last week.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Funeral
LV made arrangements for my brothers to come take care of all our chores while we were gone. I packed our suitcase and by the time our driver came we were ready to leave.
The long ride to their little community seemed even longer than it had earlier that summer when we had gone to visit them.
Arriving at their house we got out of the minivan and went into the house. The yard was full of tractors and funny little trailers that they used for transportation during the week instead of horse and buggies. Inside the house women were hurrying around, busy with all the food preparations that needed to done for the funeral.
We went into the room where Vernon and Fannie were sitting next to a tiny casket. They both looked subdued but peaceful. I wished I knew what to say but felt all choked up. Baby Leona (a Downs Syndrome child) looked so peaceful dressed in all white and wrapped in a blanket. Blinking back tears I followed LV to find a seat with the rest of the family.
It was time to eat before long and afterwards all of LV's siblings gathered at his parents house to spend the night. The next morning we headed back to Vernon's for the funeral.
The men from the church had set up benches in Vernon's woodworking shop. Once everyone had found a seat one of the ministers got up to preach a short sermon. Once he was done the bishop got up and started rambling, something about rainbows. I couldn't make heads or tails out of what he was trying to say, but then I wasn't used to his style of preaching. I hoped that Vernon and Fannie could find some comfort in his message.
Once everyone had filed past the casket one last time only Vernon and Fannie remained standing next to it with their two little children. LV's Mom got up to stand next to them and then his Dad. Fannie's parents joined them as well. I was so glad to see them with someone who cared instead of having to stand there alone like most Amish funerals. That LV's Mom had taken that initiative made me feel like going to give her a hug.
Once the cover was placed on the casket everyone went outside to go on the long bumpy buggy ride to the graveyard. LV and I rode with his parents in their little top buggy. It was quite crowded but that was fine.
At the graveyard everything went like usual, once the dirt was all piled up in a mound on the new grave and people were turning to leave one of the drivers made his way through the crowd with a single wild flower he had found and laid it on top of the mound. I thought it was such a sweet gesture. We left to go back to the house for the meal the women had prepared. Getting into the buggy I looked across the graveyard one last time. A cold breeze swept across the field and the mound of fresh dirt but the flower remained in place as if it were saying that everything would be okay.
The long ride to their little community seemed even longer than it had earlier that summer when we had gone to visit them.
Arriving at their house we got out of the minivan and went into the house. The yard was full of tractors and funny little trailers that they used for transportation during the week instead of horse and buggies. Inside the house women were hurrying around, busy with all the food preparations that needed to done for the funeral.
We went into the room where Vernon and Fannie were sitting next to a tiny casket. They both looked subdued but peaceful. I wished I knew what to say but felt all choked up. Baby Leona (a Downs Syndrome child) looked so peaceful dressed in all white and wrapped in a blanket. Blinking back tears I followed LV to find a seat with the rest of the family.
It was time to eat before long and afterwards all of LV's siblings gathered at his parents house to spend the night. The next morning we headed back to Vernon's for the funeral.
The men from the church had set up benches in Vernon's woodworking shop. Once everyone had found a seat one of the ministers got up to preach a short sermon. Once he was done the bishop got up and started rambling, something about rainbows. I couldn't make heads or tails out of what he was trying to say, but then I wasn't used to his style of preaching. I hoped that Vernon and Fannie could find some comfort in his message.
Once everyone had filed past the casket one last time only Vernon and Fannie remained standing next to it with their two little children. LV's Mom got up to stand next to them and then his Dad. Fannie's parents joined them as well. I was so glad to see them with someone who cared instead of having to stand there alone like most Amish funerals. That LV's Mom had taken that initiative made me feel like going to give her a hug.
Once the cover was placed on the casket everyone went outside to go on the long bumpy buggy ride to the graveyard. LV and I rode with his parents in their little top buggy. It was quite crowded but that was fine.
At the graveyard everything went like usual, once the dirt was all piled up in a mound on the new grave and people were turning to leave one of the drivers made his way through the crowd with a single wild flower he had found and laid it on top of the mound. I thought it was such a sweet gesture. We left to go back to the house for the meal the women had prepared. Getting into the buggy I looked across the graveyard one last time. A cold breeze swept across the field and the mound of fresh dirt but the flower remained in place as if it were saying that everything would be okay.
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