Noting the state of the refrigerator and pantry, I knew I had to venture out to restock both. I got what I could at Aldi before heading to Walmart for the rest.
I dutifully donned my mask before entering the store, and grasping my slightly crumpled grocery list I rallied forth to complete my mission in as little time as possible.
Nearing the end of my list I noticed I had missed something and would have to turn around and march to the back of the store to get it. "Oh!" I said to myself when I saw it. Big mistake. Opening my mouth like that, and inhaling on the 'oh' sucked a minuscule piece of lint from my mask right into the back of my throat where it clung stubbornly.
Immediately I had an intense need to cough to get rid of it.
As everyone knows coughing is frowned upon in today's world. I tried to suppress it, but the need was so great that I barked out a violent cough while carefully avoiding looking at any of the other customers.
One cough didn't do the trick, but I wasn't about to cough more. I abandoned all other items on my list and made a beeline for the checkout. Tears were streaming from my eyes. They didn't roll down my cheeks though. The mask conveniently soaked them all up for me.
Never have I ever checked out at such speed before. I paid and then fled to the safety of my vehicle where I coughed in peace and dislodged that piece of lint.
Hopefully they'll let me back in next time I need to go shopping.