Seeking, Searching

It was time for communion. Since our year of proving time wasn't up yet they told us we could partake as guests but not as members. That was fine with us since we were beginning to wonder how long we could stay in this community, there was so much about that we really didn't like and already knew it is not the place where we want our children to grow up. We had heard the phrase; Out of the frying pan into the fire often but since moving we felt as if it applied directly to us.

Once everyone had gathered and church was ready to begin instead of the bishop giving the regular opening speech he asked for all the members to stay seated and everyone else to go outside for a while. We weren't members but were still expected to stay seated, we simply wouldn't get to vote on anything.

Once all the children had been herded outside the bishop rose and addressed everyone. He was very sorry to say that something had occurred between ordnungs church and this morning and there were some matters to be taken care of. He went ahead and said there were several teens who had done something they should not have and had to make a confession. What they had done was no sin, but simply something the church decided should not have been done. I felt sick as all around there were people sobbing at the awfulness of what had happened, including some that should have been making confessions for real sins but the focus was on this certain misdeed.

After the confessions had been made church resumed in normal fashion. That afternoon as everyone stood to partake of the bread and wine I suddenly felt cold and clammy all over. I had never felt such an awful feeling before. My stomach felt as if it were loaded with icy bricks  and these words kept going through my mind:  The new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I can not away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moon and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them.

That evening on the way home from church LV was extra quiet. Once we had done our chores we started talking about our day. We were both surprised that the other had felt the same way that afternoon and had the same words running through our minds. We wondered what they meant and where they could be found. We decided they must be in the Bible.

LV announced that we would begin reading everything in the Bible until we found those words, maybe we would know why we had them in our mind and what we were supposed to do. It seemed like a huge task, almost like searching for a needle in a haystack but we had to know.