It has been a while since we had a baby in our family. And though we are all really looking forward to welcoming another one there is one area that I am not looking forward to.
Sure the sleepless nights may be inconvenient at times but they don't bother me nearly as much as some other things. For example when we go out in public I used to really, really detest when people walk up to our baby and hold it's hand to talk to it. Babies have a tendency to get their hands in their mouth often and now they have who knows what kind of germs on them. Talk all you want but please don't touch my baby's hands. ~ My response was usually a firmly pasted smile and then trying to keep the baby from mouthing it's hand until I had a chance to wipe it.
Another thing that used to be irritating was when people felt they had the liberty to pluck the pacifier out of our baby's mouth accompanied with, "Oh, you don't want that." or "Let me see you smile." Our babies never liked that and instead of smiling at said stranger for plucking their beloved pacifier that they wanted very much out of their mouth they would usually start crying. ~ My response, same pasted smile while giving my crying baby it's pacifier again.
The third is something that most people don't give much thought but we don't tickle our children. Baby giggles are cute and sweet and there are ways to hear them without resorting to tickling. LV and I both never liked being tickled when we were children, sure we had to laugh but it wasn't a happy do it again kind of laugh. It was one of the things we decided to not subject our children to no matter how little they are. ~ My response, not worrying if I have a pasted on smile or not as I pluck my wriggling child away from who ever is doing the tickling and stating, "We don't tickle our children."
So there are three of my Mama bear type tendencies. Did you have any when you had a baby?
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Good grief! I've always despised being tickled, too. It's not right to have to put up with that just because someone else thinks it's funny. It's only fun for the one doing the pawin'. STOP DOING THAT PEOPLE.
ReplyDeleteI understand your dilemma with friendly strangers, but in this day and time...NO ONE should touch anyone they aren't kin to, and then only with permission AND watchful parental eyes present. Who will protect the children if we don't? Stand your ground, Mary Ann, at all costs. Of course, I know you will. :)
ooo...touching their hands is one of mine too. Especially if I've just seen them cough or sneeze and then they proceed to touch the baby.
ReplyDeleteStrangers wanting to touch or hold the baby just because "he's so cute" or something like that. Now, I do look at babies I don't know and say aww she's so cute or something like that, but I never ever ask to hold a baby I don't know. I find that weird and a bit creepy.
And the "oh you do that?" "We never...." followed by what they did as parents and unsolicited advice. I don't mind hearing things that other parents do and I don't mind advice if I ask or am having trouble with something. But I don't need advice from parents I don't know very well and I don't understand why people get so upset/angry when I don't take the advice they give (no matter who they are). We all parent different.
Oh, my husband just reminded me that he wouldn't let anyone outside of immediate family hold ours for the first six weeks. It's true, lol. He stood his ground and while some folks didn't like it, the girls were very healthy even though they were born in the winter. They didn't contract any colds or flu - the end will justify the means.
ReplyDeleteI really used to dislike anyone picking up one of my babies, even if they were crying.
ReplyDeleteWhen my son was born, we were instructed to not even take him out in public for the first month! Nowadays it seems that anything goes. I never touch someone else's baby - I will say something like "what a cutie" and watch for a smile from the little one. If no smile is forthcoming, I move along. Even in church, unless I am on nursery duty, I don't just immediately touch babies, especially if the family is visiting and not a regular attending member.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what is said about protecting babies for several months. Some doctors today still do recommend that children be home for the first seveal months. I have always had more of a tendency to keep the children close and tell people we just do not allow others to hold them until they are older and then only if the child is OK with it. We too did not allow our children to be tickled.
ReplyDeleteMrs. J.
I hated it when my babies smelled like old cologne, or musky perfume after being held by someone else. I love that fresh baby smell, and it made me want to give them a bath so they smelled nice again.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the above...amazes me when I see a woman and baby in a store looking as tho they are on their way home from the hospital! What Are They Thinking!?
ReplyDeleteMy children all enjoyed being tickled, but I would never, ever presume to do that with someone else's child.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a brand new mother my sister took me and my 6-week old baby girl out to lunch. She was sitting in her punkin seat at the restaurant with her head turned to her left, just gazing at the world while we ate. Our waitress, an elderly woman, didn't like that my baby's head had been turned in one direction for so long and muttered something about that. Before I could stop her she put her hands on either side of my baby's head and yanked it over to the other side. The damage she could've done to my baby by doing that. I was so outraged I was speechless for a second. My sister and I both told her she had no business doing that because she could've done irreparable harm. Thankfully, my baby was okay, and she's now grown and married.
I really hated when someone tried to admire one of my babies (I have 4 children) up close while I was nursing. I felt like yelling, "Excuse me! I've got this blanket over the baby and me for a reason!
Honestly, the things that people feel free to do with another person's baby are astonishing!
Oh, I definitely understand the germ one! (I'm a self-proclaimed germophobe.) :) I can understand when it's a family member, but when strangers at the grocery store walk up to my daughter and pinch her cheeks...That crosses personal boundaries for me. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen you are pregnant, why do people think they have a right to feel your belly? I hate being touched by strangers. Am I weird?
ReplyDeleteWhen I had my first baby some stranger came up to me and said "I know it's none of my business but isn't she too hot under that mosquito netting'? I said, "you're right, it is none of your business."
I would never presume to tell a mother how to take care of her child.
I don't like people trying to take my baby and hold them when they are tiny. I worry because that baby is precious, will they be rough with him? do they smoke? is my baby hungry? I do not have my hands too full to hold my newborn!I found that using a moby wrap completely stopped everyone from trying to take my baby from me, also from touching their hands and faces!
ReplyDeletethere's a website that teaches you all kinds of baby carrying techniques www.wrapyourbaby.com I loved having my little guy right there and hands free too.
I used to be obsessed with the whole germ thing to. Until I realized that 9.5 times out of 10 my children didn't get anything from that person. It is good for them to have contact with a little bit of germs, so I am not too obesses now... unless the person has a runny nose or obvious infection or such. I also hate it when people take my girl's binkis (pacifier) from them or they make the comment that they NEVER let their kids have a binki. :P
ReplyDeleteI always loved being tickled as a child. It was always a fun time my family and I would have in the evening hanging out together. My daughters also love to be tickled. They will come and lay down next to me and ask me to tickle them! It isn't amazing how different people are.
I think there is tickling and tickling. I hated it as it rendered me powerless and the tickler had all the control, and THAT is what I detested (along with the fact I am asthmatic and it tends to bring on an attack) and I also didn't allow tickling of my children. There are some who tickle without robbing someone of all control and just give a pleasurable skin sensation. At the end of the day, a tickle is the body's first and natural defence in vital internal organ protection. It is a way for the body to squirm away when the kidneys look like being threatened.
ReplyDeleteMy first child sucked her thumb. My husband and I thought it was really cute... Until she was 7 and we were still trying to break the habit! (we finally succeeded!) So I'm totally in favor of pacifiers now. But even if I wasn't, I wouldn't presume to tell someone else what they should do with their child!
ReplyDeleteI so knew you were going to say about the crying as soon as you said about people removing the pacifiers... That's what happens every time. Hey, people, get a clue... If the baby didn't want the thing, it wouldn't be happily sucking on it, would it? Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with you on the tickling... Babies laugh better when you just act like an idiot or something anyway. At least, all the ones I've had anything to do with do.
That is a very large pet peeve of mine... the touching the hands. Whenever I have my five-month-old out in public, people constantly touch her hands - particularly children and teenagers! I don't want to be rude, but she is at the age where her hands are in her mouth almost constantly and the germs totally scare me.
ReplyDeleteAll three of yours are incorporated in mine -- Don't touch my child! Keeping smile on is difficult while extracting any portion of the child from the culprit's clutches. Keep in mind, too, that tickling in some cultures is considered torture. It is in my mind, too. A light touch to the foot, maybe once. Past that, an emphatic No!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand not touching the baby. I never liked it when someone touched mine.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would like to say in their defense, I totally understand wanting to touch the baby. I want to touch them myself. Babies are such a statement about Life, so pure and fresh from the hand of God. I find that irresistible. But I make a conscious effort not to touch them, unless I am invited, or if it is a family baby. But I want to!
I didn't like when people touched my baby's hand either! But another big pet peeve is when people would give my children treats without my permission.My Father-in-law introduced my son to chocolate way too early and that upset me very much.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joanne
I just found out that I am pregnant with our first child, so I don't know. But one thing I do know, I want a T-shirt that says "DO NOT TOUCH MY BELLY!" :o) My belly isn't big enough to really notice yet, but from hearing complaints of this from other pregnant friends, I do not want anyone (outside of close family) to touch me! Another thing that bothers me, is knowing one of my husbands friends has a fascination with seeing a pregnant woman. I don't want to be around him knowing that. (Supposedly he is fascinated with God's design and creation, and while that might be fine, keep it to yourself!)
ReplyDelete