I was sitting in the phone shanty for our usual half hour in case any of our customers wanted to call. It was cold outside and I had lit our old kerosene barn lantern and taken it along to set beside my feet to try to keep them from freezing. Engrossed in a book that I had taken along to read while I wait I was surprised to hear the door open and Daddy step inside.
He had a weird expression on his face as he asked me to go to the furnace room, that someone was there that needed to talk to me. And that he would sit by the phone for the rest of the half hour.
I walked up the road wondering who needed to talk to me. I entered the furnace room and saw LV's Dad standing there waiting. He looked rather nervous and made some small talk about the weather. Behind us our huge furnace hissed and popped noisily with all of it's air pumps and water circulators. It made it hard to have a conversation and we practically had to yell to understand each other.
He shuffled nervously and then launched into the real reason he was there. "As was customary before you could have your engagement announced in church one of the ministers had to come talk to you," he stammered out. hemming and hawing he finally managed to ask if LV and I had maintained a pure courtship and a few more details.
I could feel my face turn beet red and felt like running to the house as fast as I could go. I told him that yes we did nothing that we have reason to be ashamed of.
He said that he hadn't expected anything else, and just so I know the bishop will ask the same thing on the morning of our wedding.
To me that felt like a warning. I shuddered, and went into the kitchen where Mom looked at me sympathetically and I realized that she had experienced the same thing before they had married and now I knew why Daddy's expression had been so weird.
Friday, January 28, 2011
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Your future father-in-law asked you that?? You got that right...AWKWARD!! Was he one of the ministers? At least it sounds like he felt as awkward as you did. That's too funny ~
ReplyDeleteOh, mercy! I'd have died inside & turned beet red, too! But every church has the rules to follow, & for us to respect.
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful weekend ~
TTFN ~
Marydon
No wonder you were embarrassed! It'd be bad enough to have any one of the ministers ask that! But for it to be your FIL too...oh dear! I cannot immagine my FIL asking me that.
ReplyDelete@ imPerfect
ReplyDeleteYes, he was a minister. I think he felt equally as awkward as I did. I still shudder when ever I relive the moment. The thing that strikes my funny bone now is how loud we had to talk about such a yucky topic in order to be heard above the hissing clanking furnace.
I had totally forgotten about those questions. I feel just as sorry for the minister who has to go ask such questions.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been very hard to cope with.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it still happens today?
My goodness, that would have been so embarrassing. If you had known that this was likely to happen it might have made it just a little easier for you.
ReplyDeleteSo what would have happened if you had said you DID have premarital relations??? I felt embarassed for you. EEK!
ReplyDeleteHow humiliating for you!
ReplyDeleteI am enjoying your blog...I look forward to each new story about your old way of life.
You need to write a book my friend!
AHHHHH! I am embarressed just reading it. I can only imagine your inner monologue "please be quiet..shut up...shut up shut up!" Thank goodness its behind you.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to crawl under a rock now.
ReplyDeletebefore we could get married we had to undergo pre-marital counseling with our minister, who is just a little older than we both are. And, uh, all kinds of topics had to be covered during the sessions. Glad that's over with.
I feel 'almost' as sorry for your FIL as I do you! Perhaps he took comfort in the hissing, clanking furnace as it gave him some background noise and he didn't have to ask that question in the still of the kitchen or barn ... you poor thing!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he had to ask LV, too ... almost as bad!
Monica, is there room for others under your rock?
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add that we had pre-marital counseling, too. The normal 3 sessions worth of material was covered in 1 1/2 sessions (our minister knew us very well) and I honestly don't remember anything like that ... I suppose there was something but he already knew our hearts' desire was to wait til we were married so perhaps it was just a glancing blow :-)
Oh, that would be embarrassing!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were married by 2 ministers--the one from our church did part of the ceremony, then my father who is also a minister, did the other part. Luckly, it was the other minister we had "the talk" with first and not my father!
My father has also had the joy of baptizing all his grandchildren as well.
Compare that with the kids of the world today- they 's think you are crazy.
ReplyDeleteWhaaatttt??? So glad that no one tried that on us. Several years after we were married and in a new community, my husband's employer decided to ask him if we'd had a hand's off courtship. The boss is the one who told me this story later . . . and as he related it: "P. was quiet for a long time, and I thought, 'Maybe he's embarassed and doesn't want to tell me'. So I mentally dropped it and kept on working. All of a sudden, P. says, "Yes--we did--but we sure made up for it afterwards!" Oyyyyy!!! (But I was secretly rather proud of my hubby for his answer . . . )
ReplyDeleteSounds like an embarrassing moment for all concerned. I guess if you expect such a question, it's a powerful incentive for the unmarried couple to behave!
ReplyDeleteI think women elders or deacons should talk to the girls and men with the boys.That would be less embarassing
ReplyDelete