Sunday morning arrived, she dressed her children in their new clothes and then it was her turn. The new purple dress fit beautifully and she was feeling great, her husband's compliments added to her happiness as they headed out the door, dressed in their new Sunday best.
She sat through church services, joining in joyfully singing hymns, drinking in the sermon that was delivered in English, her heart was full as church was dismissed and everyone started visiting before heading home.
Her happy bubble burst, when a woman came up to her and said, "Did you get lost on your way to a wedding?" and then burst into gales of laughter. She felt a little bewildered as she answered, "No, we meant to come to church here."
The woman laughed some more and said, "Your dress looks like it should be in a wedding, not a church." Some other women smiled uncomfortably, but didn't say anything.
The next Sunday she wanted to go worship, but at the same time she didn't want to go to church in her Amish clothes or her now hated pretty purple dress.
~~~~~
I could go on a rant now, but it wouldn't do any good, and I don't like how I feel about that laughing woman. The hurt and harm she caused was senseless, and I can't help but feel upset for my friend. I wish I could have been there for her when it happened.
~~~~~
I don't know if anyone from the church we used to attend after we left the Amish reads this blog, but if so, I want to thank you for always being kind, friendly, and accepting no matter what clothes I was wearing. .
I'm so sad for her, but I hope she learns to never let stupid people dictate how she feels. they lurk everywhere, even in church, and their opinions should just be ignored. it is about them, not her. I'd wear that dress, and I would smile.
ReplyDelete"Man looks on the outside, but the Lord looks on the heart."
ReplyDeleteOh my, what a horrid thing for the thoughtless woman to say to your friend. I think some people were never taught to bridle their tongues. Tell your friend purple is at the top of the color charts and to wear the dress as she pleases. There are NO rules other than Biblical modesty for Christians' church attire. This story reminds me of a big-mouthed comment I overheard once concerning my daughter's clothing...
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago when our youngest was being homeschooled she took a class in Hebrew Dance and performed with the rest of the girls in the class at the end of the school year. My daughter made her own long, flowing dance skirt and blouse from about 16 yards of white faux silk fabric. It was beautiful, modest and she did a great job sewing it. After the program another child's MOTHER commented that she always thought it was "jewel colors", not white, that were always worn... Well, the next year this same woman and another performed in the program at the end of the school year and she wore a white outfit!!! She had obviously been jealous when she saw our daughter in white. What a sad, unhappy, poor thing. Not to mention that the program was for the children to perform, not their parents. Ah well, some people just don't get enough attention at home, I guess.
Sadly, there are many people in assorted religious denominations who have missed the point of the teachings they have received. Turning up to worship is great, but not to actually listen to, and think about the message of love and caring makes it a pointless exercise.
ReplyDeleteBecause of the unkindness I have witnessed and the fact that I have twice been the lone voice supporting the victim of unpleasantness, whilst church leaders turned their faces away and said nothing, I am no longer a member of a church. There is so much more to being a Christian than turning up to communal worship and the need for kindness, support and understanding are the greatest message of the gospels.
The Bible says you will know they are Christians by their love for one another, but sadly we all too often forget what that means. My heart hurts for your friend.
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely NO WORDS for the emotions I'm feeling right now. What that woman said was bad enough but the other women just stood there and didn't say a word? That is such a sad pronouncement of what many churches have become. It makes me so unbelievable sad.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers will be with this woman and her family. I'm so glad she has a friend like you to turn to.
Blessings,
Betsy
This breaks my heart! God doesn't care what we're wearing, as long as we are worshipping him. Someone should have spoken up and let her know that she was welcome and loved!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteShe was envious. I've seen it happen before. Some people who don't want to bother to dress up or look feminine make fun of those who do, because they are envious and in some way hope to control them. I'm so sorry that happened to your friend! Please tell her to wear the dress anyway. I wear my hair extremely long and wear dresses to my baptist church even though that is not common among my friends. The only opinion about what to wear that should matter to her is God's and her husband's. And her own of course! :)
ReplyDeleteVery Christian, that woman. People like her are why so many just don't go to churches anymore. I feel more sorry for the nasty woman, actually, than for your friend, but also wish I could have been there...my actions would not have been very Christian either, though. Hateful jealousy... I'm very sorry for your friend's experience.
ReplyDeleteGod doesn't care what we wear to worship him, just as long as our hearts are tuned into him. Shame shame on that woman. She was mean-spirited and rude, and had no right to embarrass your friend. Please tell your friend that she is and always is beautiful, no matter what she wears.
ReplyDeleteBless your friend's heart - that's awful. I hope that she has a better experience the next time she goes to church and is able to lay that thoughtless remark aside. I can sure understand your struggles with your feelings towards the laughing woman - I'm with you.
ReplyDeleteIncidences like this help me to see with more clarity what our Savior went through, and makes me marvel all the more at His love and forgiveness.
Hoping you, and your friend have a good week!
What a shame. God knew the influence our words would have. That's why He said, "death and life are in the tongue". So thankful you have a kind church family.
ReplyDeleteI feel for her. I come from the opposite side because I can't make myself dress up. I never could and probably never will. It is not in me. So I dress the way I want to dress and either like or don't like me. I am just who I am. My bottom line is, we should all have the liberty to be who we are without scorn from others.
ReplyDeleteGoodness!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for her. May God bless her, and heal her heart.
Have a wonderful week,
Blessings,
Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage
I feel so sad for your friend , that she had this experience and must admit it also smote my heart a bit. Many of us would not directly confront someone on poor clothing choices , but if we are honest how often do we think or even say something to our friends when we see others come to our church dressed in less than tasteful clothing ? I think of the verse " life and death is in the tongue" The words this lady tactlessly spoke, will likely always mar your friends memories of that church and spoil the happiness she felt of her first Sunday in other clothes.I am curious if the lady felt like she had to put your friend "in place" in order to establish her place in the pecking order of the church.
ReplyDeleteI feel so sad for your friend , that she had this experience and must admit it also smote my heart a bit. Many of us would not directly confront someone on poor clothing choices , but if we are honest how often do we think or even say something to our friends when we see others come to our church dressed in less than tasteful clothing ? I think of the verse " life and death is in the tongue" The words this lady tactlessly spoke, will likely always mar your friends memories of that church and spoil the happiness she felt of her first Sunday in other clothes.I am curious if the lady felt like she had to put your friend "in place" in order to establish her place in the pecking order of the church.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is so sad. I am sorry your friend was hurt like that. People can be so inconsiderate. To say that to ANYONE, let alone a new believer who is excited and growing, is just rude and hurtful. Please tell your friend it hurt me to hear of her story, and that I wish her all the best.
ReplyDeleteHow sad that anyone would treat someone in that way, particularly while at church. Sounds to me like she was trying to make herself feel good by putting someone else down. Sad really for all concerned.
ReplyDeleteHow horrible! Just as every Sunday is a little Easter, it can also be thought of as a "little wedding" where we come to join ourselves to the Lord.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, perhaps, if you friend wore the same dress again, some one might take her aside during coffee hour after service, and say something along the lines of "Oh, I love that dress. We don't usually get that dressed up here, and you almost make me jealous".