Of Gum and ........

Several years ago we planned a really great vacation. Before we left I went into a sewing frenzy and made that we each had a matching set of clothes for every day that we planned on being gone. A month after we got back we left the Amish and were stuck with lots of barely used clothes. We had no one to give them to and the thrifty part of me could not go and pitch them. And now I still have three types of clothes. Amish, I'm almost through with those, thankfully. Mennonite, I don't think I can emphasise how much I dislike those clothes, and then skirts and blouses.

This was taken a few weeks after we left the Amish.

Last evening I wore one of my Mennonite dresses to go to church, ill fitting though it is. Before we left I grabbed a Kleenex on the off chance that I might need it and since these dresses don't come equipped with pockets I tucked it inside of the cape, and happily went out to our vehicle and we headed to church.
On our way there I opened a new pack of gum and popped a piece into my mouth, trust me I try to be discreet with it, I don't want to appear to be chewing a cud, but my fear of having bad breath and losing friends because of it, is strong, and since I can't check my own breath I always try to prevent it with a piece of gum.
This piece tasted odd, but I kept it and we went into church and found a seat. About halfway through the service all I could think of was how bad this gum was tasting, and that I really need to get rid of it. I thought of my Kleenex and tried to get it but was now faced with a new problem. Let's just say that my cape no longer seemed like a good place to store something since I'm sitting. I tried to squirm a little to be able to get it, and my husband leaned over and asked me if something was wrong. I tried to hold still and just bravely swallow it. But the gum was so bad, that I didn't care if my breath is bad, I can always make new friends later. I just really need to get rid of the vile stuff. There was no way I wanted to swallow it and I hate getting up and walking out in time of church so with one last frantic effort I managed to grab hold of the corner of the Kleenex and I pulled it out and disposed of the gum.
I have learned several things.

• Never ever under any circumstance tuck anything in the front of a Mennonite dress. In fact don't bother wearing a Mennonite dress, they are ill fitting, ornery contraptions. (No offense to any of my Mennonite readers, but it is the way I feel when I am wearing them.)
• Never, ever and I repeat never, ever chew Jolt gum again.